tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79969262012-02-16T19:11:37.998-05:00a tendency to ramble, and spot of spare time...Rednoreply@blogger.comBlogger1811100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-60254278811525590212009-01-13T19:36:00.006-05:002009-01-13T20:00:59.292-05:00

1) Get hooked up with a transit pass. This is goodness all round.2) Move into a cute (though cold) little place in Wicker Park (it's got it going on).3) Join the local gym. They have free apples.4) Go to work and try to get the paperwork going. Cook County is traumalicious.5) Check out the spoken word awesomeness (themed around the MOON!!) at the theater at the end of the street!!6) Go to the

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-22343508940529503452008-12-11T02:04:00.002-05:002008-12-11T02:13:05.560-05:00

Six more months in transit and all of it to be packed into one trip back.I am so bloody tired of living out of my car/my suitcase/boxes and bags, on buses/planes/the road.Really, really, really tired of it. Three years and all I want is a little nest. A little place to put things away in. So that I can sort through boxes and bags once and for all and not have to try, every 4 or 6 or 2 weeks to

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-62800125349972578192008-12-08T21:18:00.003-05:002008-12-09T00:05:53.453-05:00

olive oil1 sweet potato, little cubes1/2 small japanese cabbage (daikon), cut into 3 cm piecessmall handful carrots, chopped coarselyveg. stockwhite pepper (or black)waterCombine the first 4 ingredients and soften in pot over med. heat.Add remaining ingredients and simmer. = brothy soup.Serve with friend.Yum.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-22287791847199427602008-11-26T14:04:00.001-05:002008-11-26T14:04:38.187-05:00

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-34235933087033923922008-09-23T12:03:00.002-04:002008-09-23T12:48:01.941-04:00

View Larger MapHere I am - by happenstance and for lack of good weather in Nanisivik/Arctic Bay - in Resolute Bay for 3 nights until the next flight can attempt to land us on a typically fogged-in strip a little south and east of here. Sitting around in the lodge (inhabited by research and construction folk) I was treated to 30 year old scotch and such stories: grizzly encounters, mud-sunk twin

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-51807325016194252392008-07-01T20:32:00.006-04:002008-07-01T21:24:47.342-04:00

Just arrived two days ago for a four-month stint in Iqaluit, Nunavut.Today, Canada Day, there were festivities and fun in town, and three images that will cement my memories of my first national day spent in this uniquely Canadian town:A diminutive (not 5 feet tall) Inuk woman, striding about proudly in her seal-skin kamiks (boots) and one of those umbrella hats in red and white with maple leaves

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-70994968164975338232008-02-19T02:14:00.002-05:002008-02-19T02:15:03.080-05:00

i love you,and there aren'tbetter wordsthan thati love you.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-25368328854501257522007-12-29T01:48:00.000-05:002007-12-29T09:33:29.421-05:00

thank you for caring for my preciousas angry as you are over her leaf-like natureas if these are to be her last daysplease try to be as gentle with her spirit

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-77857866251443698662007-11-06T20:41:00.002-05:002008-02-19T02:16:28.809-05:00

.flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; }.flickr-yourcomment { }.flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; }.flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } HPIM2909, originally uploaded by Dalziela. There are worse things than going nutty at the nut farm on a thanksgiving aft.Mine freundline Anne's photo.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-45635357897945641592007-10-09T01:45:00.000-04:002007-10-09T01:53:03.077-04:00

bloody hell. roomie picked death-traps for the house-guests. enticed them with peanut butter. but she's never home to count the bodies. this second victim met his fate while i was down-stairs, having spent much of the afternoon packing away dry goods, and vacuuming mouse-poo from the kitchen shelves. i came upstairs for other purposes to find him trapped, but alive, bleeding and screaming

Rednoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-61718042897765177502007-10-02T23:58:00.000-04:002007-10-03T00:09:43.652-04:00

let's see. since may i have: had my nose adjusted by a well-meaning 'drop-it-like-it's-hot' collision; flown kites with my male relations; graduated (again); moved no-one-died-but-i've-inherited-them-anyways pieces of massive, heavy furniture; performed another tremendous purge; eaten just one last time, and then again one last time at cambodiana; strolled through kensignton market; taken

Rednoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-66792636742624119262007-05-01T11:33:00.000-04:002007-05-01T11:38:44.401-04:00

Cattails are yummy! I still have marsh-goo under my fingernails from scratching around in search of cattail shoots. The inner white core is yummy raw, and can be boiled to make a nice cooked veggie.There's more to look forward to, too: the taller shoots can be peeled and eaten in much the same way. Later, the young flowers (before they send forth their pollen) can be boiled up and gnawed at

Rednoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1163350208075073432006-11-12T11:47:00.000-05:002007-03-09T12:59:07.941-05:00

raven, flying thoughtful circlesraven, with his long, straight billraven, who stole the light and cracked the clam to bring forth our worldraven, clever trickster:floating above my gaze across the valley,deep traveler's call, vibrato undertones announcing his gameeach time another loop is complete.and then a wonderful airborn dance:three slow beats of his wings, brief glide,then in one motion

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1161902707958568712006-10-26T16:56:00.000-04:002006-10-26T18:45:07.970-04:00

i'm working in labour & delivery this month. i've learned some stuff:1) it's not so bad to be covered in blood & goo, especially if your boots are black2) it is just incredible what a woman's body & mind can do to get those wee little creatures grown and out into the world.3) even women who are self-described 'whimps' can tolerate an incredible amount of pain, whith the help of all of those

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1157563975063170552006-09-06T14:00:00.000-04:002007-03-09T15:00:06.045-05:00

that's how many years complete. same old same old, but i feel pretty alive, i do! skinny dipping in icy-cold mountain-top lakes is one way of celebrating. donuts and a misty morning are another. standing on the mountain-view porch, watching the magic of a tipsy raven is one more way. supper with new friends promises to be a fourth. i am a lucky lady, this is sure!

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1157564775130364812006-09-06T13:35:00.000-04:002007-03-09T12:56:45.882-05:00

let me tell you about this particular piece of heaven.i arrive in the new home. view more stunning than i remember as the late afternoon sun pours into the living room past lush houseplants and wooden furnishings. high ceilings, glass almost filling the walls that face the mountain.i walk the eager black dog waiting for me - through more sunshine, down the gravel road to my only 3 neighbours.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1154140870874202042006-07-28T22:24:00.000-04:002006-07-30T23:03:25.250-04:00

i have been plunged into madness -- 6 weeks of psychiatric institutions, psychoses, depression, confusion and mania. but (this time, at least?) not my own -- work brought me to the constellation of crazy, and i came and went between the two sparkling pools of madness in this town.fine strong minds scrambling for a way to keep afloat. this world is hard, this much i know. beautiful, and hard,

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1151462963100560262006-06-27T22:42:00.000-04:002007-03-09T11:30:36.240-05:00

a friend lent me this really incredible book, Dragonslippers. it's a graphic memoir, written by a bright young woman who survived a 10-year long abusive relationship. the drawings were from her time during those years - very honest. it's a very incredible document, and really worthwhile, i think, regardless of one's experience with spousal abuse. i'm sure i will find occasion to share it with

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1149970888415860832006-06-10T16:13:00.000-04:002006-06-10T16:21:28.503-04:00

admiring the joy of falling through air, but feeling so far from all that freedom myself today. instead, too much hot air and knots.it can be said that happiness = 1/|expectations-reality|.but trying too hard to remodel expectations in anticipation of an unsatisfactory reality is another kind of lie. it probably won't allow disappointment to be avoided, just postponed. better to adjust

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1149641756014541562006-06-06T20:43:00.000-04:002006-06-06T20:55:56.090-04:00

last i wrote it was avril. month of fickle sky-sourced tears and wicked winds taunting with warm undertones and the promise of floral blooms.and now, already it is june. i missed a lot in between. as ever, a lot of expressive silence is the theme when i'm around that mildly intoxicating creature. now i'm back home (oh! frabjous day, calloo, callay!!), and though working too hard, so thrilled

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1145459903999029632006-04-18T23:14:00.000-04:002006-04-19T11:18:24.036-04:00

a baby bird, dead on the pavement, beneath its tree,an enormous concrete tower over the grave of our community garden,clear sky, have stars, will travel.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1144444489416253432006-04-07T16:58:00.000-04:002007-03-09T12:59:57.578-05:00

bon, alors - j'suis ici à Montréal. learning all about drugs. drugs drugs drugs. and addiction. dependence. abuse. detox. relapse. abstinence. harm reduction.gambling, booze, smack, crack. and methadone. people who are sooo happy that they're in a methadone program. people who hate being on methadone. some on methadone a few weeks, others on it a dozen years. people who are trying

Rednoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1143681453714870552006-03-29T20:16:00.000-05:002006-03-29T20:17:33.753-05:00

i told her she might have breast cancer.she told me i was wonderful.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1143592604118353202006-03-28T19:30:00.000-05:002006-03-28T19:36:44.130-05:00

forgive me if this is news only to me (i don't really drink pop - but i have one beside me now...)i'm sitting with a can of sodypop, and it is MAKING MUSIC. the little bubblybubbles are tinging and ringing against the sides of their aluminum can. it sounds rather lovely, especially filling the pauses between the clatter of these keyboard keys.sip. and gone. more of a dull splat-splat now.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1143428077513314512006-03-26T21:54:00.000-05:002007-03-09T12:51:12.478-05:00

out on the sea-ice, on the way to try to hook some sea-fish, we came upon this trapped relic.and while i'm at it, just wondering: couldn't we make a pedal-driven snowmobile? (it would be too fantastic to bicycle across the frozen ocean)

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1143239278369489912006-03-24T17:26:00.000-05:002007-03-09T11:35:01.264-05:00

with a hole at each endhe worms his way into mineto start an itch that won't die

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1143239044562783862006-03-24T17:05:00.000-05:002006-03-24T17:24:04.703-05:00

i think that i will surely look back on this period as a transformative time in my life. i have been rushing around the world of late (haven't even been in my own home since january, with another 2 months to go), but it's not catching up with me at all - i think because it's just been non-stop learning.first it was nunavut, and what will probably prove to be my favorite month of this beastly

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1143430856784813312006-03-07T22:40:00.000-05:002007-03-09T11:35:33.392-05:00

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1142381910599315982006-02-25T20:18:00.001-05:002008-10-26T01:52:49.648-04:00

sitting in the plane, reading words of the world.a flight from ice-country, with sea-food tastyness, and the best damn airplane food i've ever tasted (thank-you First Air, and the purse-strings of the government).lovely words, also, of that fine wordwizard, christian bok. diamonds on the page...red wine and fond memories, already, of fantastic fun with voyagers from various corners of our south.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1143428910504619232006-02-12T22:08:00.000-05:002007-03-09T12:54:07.189-05:00

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1139541031113124462006-02-05T10:07:00.000-05:002007-03-09T12:54:58.780-05:00

This morning is stunningly lovely. An icy white mist softens the hard lines of the frozen bay, and adds a hint of citrus smudge as it picks up the warm glow of sunrise spilling over distant hills.Sunrise carries on for hours, and soon enough becomes a drawn-out sunset. And it has been cold, but I've quickly acclimatized. I don't think I've really felt cold since the first day, and this

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1139538152620053072006-01-30T17:10:00.000-05:002007-03-09T12:55:22.293-05:00

1530h, sunset, as I trudge up the long, long hill to the apartment. It's been a long day, it seems. I left Ottawa in the grip of an icy storm, with tree-tops heavy in snow-dresses, and leafless branches twisting to the sky. Twenty minutes of furious de-icing by the ground-crew, and we were off. The day was bright, and I could catch good glimpses of bright snow sweeping across the earth in

Rednoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1138194532304556882006-01-23T21:01:00.000-05:002006-01-25T08:08:52.353-05:00

First tears: I had to endure the dentist, which has never, once, gladdened my heart. As he gently squeezed the burning numbness into my gum (it seeped up to my lip, my nose), one eye was stoic. The other, further from him, spilled a steady stream of my pain. What a thankless profession.Second tears: I voted. As I tapped that little piece of paper into its fragile cardboard box, a wave of

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1136820251519665532006-01-09T10:22:00.000-05:002006-01-09T10:24:11.530-05:00

mouths hang agog,at the afrontof another breath denied.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1135257762977115752005-12-22T08:21:00.000-05:002007-03-09T11:39:25.772-05:00

Today, in the city,I read prize-winning poems.None nearly as nice as your pretty pomes.but now,my dearest,from this train,on this train trip,I am reading wordsthat draw me pictures of our loving,that drip with our liquids,and run with our juices.Words that make me think of you,each one:tentacled beasts, and running red wine,and fragrant nectar breathed into loving nostrilsby broad-cased

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1135220223557761392005-12-21T21:53:00.000-05:002005-12-21T21:57:03.570-05:00

in spite of whatever MacGyver-esque techniques you used to reconstruct the fallen exhaust system on your cute red truck,i am sitting here, up above the trees,and i can hear that you'll soon be walking throughthe door.nice truck.still loud, like us.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1134688031057567952005-12-15T18:03:00.000-05:002005-12-15T18:07:11.066-05:00

just to summarize:pushing the end of almost thirtystill full of love and all that shimmering quiverjust like years ago. only better.

Rednoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1134450168556273472005-12-12T23:59:00.000-05:002005-12-13T00:04:01.060-05:00

so. it's been brought to my attention that i may have sounded a bit too serious in that last post.be it resolved: never sound too serious.now, everyone, take off your pants!(unless you're always gettin' 'em off, Tudor, in which case, maybe leave them on for a change)

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1134067233387262642005-12-08T13:28:00.000-05:002005-12-08T13:40:33.440-05:00

in conversation, the other day w/ my friend, at The Favorite Cafe...we were talking around and around. and he reminded me of this thing: this fear of inhabiting an Internal Universe in which many nice ideas are collected, and pondered, and chewed upon, but from which no action is initiated.you know it: "will i end-up doing nothing will all of this grooming/prep/privilege...?"a pinch of guilt:

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1133984775090097042005-12-07T14:42:00.000-05:002005-12-07T14:47:50.520-05:00

best fortune ever, and it's been sitting in it's cookie on my kitchen shelf, next to the porcelain spoons, for months...The only way to catch tiger cubs is to go into the tiger's den.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1133833051791257382005-12-05T20:32:00.000-05:002005-12-09T20:38:40.746-05:00

I (almost) miss the madness of the fall.Most winters these past few years have found me struggling, searching for things beginning with the letter 's':supportsanityserenity.This time I have just wild energy and more happy feelings than I know what to do about.It is good. A treat, even. But so was spring and its rebirth as I climbed out into lightness and dancing.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1132410226695272002005-11-19T09:21:00.000-05:002007-03-09T11:40:56.352-05:00

Last night we touched again,cool, crisp air moving between us.You at my feet,in my hair,the shivering ecstacy of your touch,my tongue,this familiar pleasure.Then my hot madnessmaking you wet, small, dying!But the night warmed, and you,snowflake, were gone by morning.

Rednoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1131593170887397622005-11-09T22:16:00.000-05:002005-11-09T22:26:10.930-05:00

i must do better than weep: over the rabble-rouser words of stephen lewis.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1131168209658655672005-11-05T00:19:00.000-05:002005-11-05T00:23:29.670-05:00

sick, and a little tired. but glad to have the brother here for the evening (an exuse to leave my solitude for a few hours of twinned sense of humour and a film enjoyed). and enjoyed a nice long chit-chat with meg-à-new-york as she wandered on and between trains back from princeton towards her home.the sweetness of an afternoon in this sun-warmed home.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1130991610006103882005-11-02T23:05:00.000-05:002005-11-02T23:20:10.070-05:00

i have just spent the last 12 hours on email. that's right. half a whole day. there's another half a day more i could do, though i've made a dent.this is the price. that i pay, and would gladly pay again, for 3 days away from my many accounts, queer queries, tiresome tirades, rushed requests...three days in which to frolic in the woods (throwing windfall apples, picking burrs off of fleece

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1129758128758324072005-10-19T17:38:00.000-04:002007-03-09T11:41:52.677-05:00

looking through old notes from my never-sent drafts box. too many words that revealed too much emotion. but here's something that pleases me to remember - ah, the pure exhilaration of wonder (please take me back there soon!):do you ever get lost, caught in the spell of experience? i do – it’s both lovely and a bit frightening – tearing myself away from concentration that focused too sharply,

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1129690900091295282005-10-18T22:58:00.000-04:002005-10-18T23:02:10.183-04:00

if by 'things' you mean 'my bloody computer'? then yes.yes yes yes. smashy smashy smash- smash.i can imagine the sound, the smell, the feeling as i release this beast from sweaty hands to fly across the room to die!connected, and disconnected both.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1129009424731629002005-10-11T01:38:00.000-04:002007-03-09T11:42:30.263-05:00

boil a litre of milk (powdered is fine)remove from heat and add 2 Tbs. of lemon juicethe curds (!) will separate from the whey (!!)[it really is that cool]drain through a few layers of cheesecloth.can be pressed overnight between heavy things in the fridge and cut into cubes,or not.presto magico - fresh home-made milk solids ("cheese" if you will)yummalish in tomato-y onion-y tumeric-garam

Rednoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1128576961735072082005-10-06T01:16:00.000-04:002005-10-06T01:36:01.796-04:00

i don't know how it is that i haven't bought any groceries in a month. or that i've moved every 3-5 days since the end of june... or that i'm about to spend my first week-end in my own home since sometime in april.isn't this some kind of perpetual-motion-pergatory? and the true sign of insanity, for this is all of my own choosing.and in contrast with the moving-spinning-running-rushing, is the

Rednoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1127477014243740492005-09-23T07:52:00.000-04:002007-03-09T11:43:28.316-05:00

gilded gelding lover:let me receive your calmstolen sunshine swimmer:bobbing in filled tub of balmwoods-walker, feeding forests:dancing in sky-lantern's lightwhisp'ring wool-winder, quiet:wrapped in warmth and darkest night

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1127248961396639562005-09-20T16:34:00.000-04:002007-03-09T11:43:57.631-05:00

i only have pale skin,in fine lines little mystery.absent the exotic,erotic promises.in this telling, an ordinary tale.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1127190812967677952005-09-20T00:27:00.000-04:002007-03-09T11:44:36.590-05:00

i come from away (CFA), as they say in st. john's. but now i'm home again. this is going to be a year of extreme motion. loco!motion, for sure. the highlights are likely to be - brazil in january, the far north-ish for 6 weeks in the winter, somewhere else (maldives perhaps?) in feb, chile in march, and serbia in august. add to that a hectic schedule of meetings and placements in various

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1126592408276319082005-09-13T02:12:00.000-04:002005-09-13T02:20:08.283-04:00

it's after 2 a.m. must be september.but i'm enjoying your words.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1126117003711529002005-09-07T14:09:00.000-04:002005-09-13T02:21:47.943-04:00

364 days till the next year is added. had a lovely day, even if it was the last first day of school ever. and i learned to roll a kayak, in preparation for whitewater kayaking this week-end. it's only more of my favorite people that could have made it nicer.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1125930190133887772005-09-05T10:17:00.000-04:002007-03-09T11:45:10.041-05:00

once again ensconced in my little 2nd-floor apartment. the plants are here, the clutter, the sunshine, and the lake.it's the lake that i've missed, these months away. tonight, as the clock marks the turning of the date, i should be in her arms, feel her cool fingers on the skin of my belly. that is the way to celebrate the passage of another year, and to welcome the last days of my fickle

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1125618433007020092005-09-01T19:29:00.000-04:002007-03-09T11:45:34.759-05:00

let me count the ways,for there are many:one membery deep, but not forgotten, plunges intotwo lips gently parted, whisp'ring softlyof three lines of words, and again of three little wordsand then the four letter words - i want to, let'sand five, four, three, two, dive intodark waters as the fires, rageing, heat the little homeat 678 East Greenbay Road and a tangle,entangled in 8 limbs, complete

Rednoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1125574764535253562005-09-01T07:27:00.000-04:002007-03-09T11:45:54.976-05:00

his silencehence his fillof funhers mourninglined up morningsemptytwo frenzies,both sidesof their island

Rednoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1124264195756755562005-08-17T09:36:00.000-04:002007-03-09T11:46:41.168-05:00

i visited a township school yesterday. a primary school for 800 kids. 30ish teachers. it is an unusual school. some kids come to school hungry. and they are fed - food grown in the school garden at lunch, porridge cooked by early-bird teachers in the morning, and a snack for all mid-morning provided by a local programme.if they arrive dirty (they have no soap at home, or no parents), then

Rednoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1124262556576123872005-08-15T10:49:00.000-04:002007-03-09T11:47:35.568-05:00

Thus the long letter is begun. I write to you smiling, in spite of being trapped, as I am, in a kind of purgatory; Heathrow is a mall, and I've no escape!...I spent most of the night trying, rather unsuccessfully, to sleep. But that meant that a fair amount of drifting - into and out of sleep was done. And this I like: all those dozy thoughts that bleed into one another...Nice, I think,

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1123837049671780542005-08-12T10:56:00.000-04:002007-03-09T11:48:03.414-05:00

spent some time, after jo'burg, after the karoo, after a few days chez papa, with a high-energy crew in tiny little middle-of-nowhere hamburg. a little rural community in old ciskei of the apartheit era - one of many eastern cape communities struggling with extreme poverty, services in shambles, and ill health all around.there i always meet people that force me to think. and my eyes and ears

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1122626770093262232005-07-29T10:50:00.000-04:002007-03-09T11:48:35.020-05:00

far, far away from the comfort of home, i find myself so comfortably released from the routines. strange though, that it's all the way over here in southern africa, that i end up finding the time and mental energy to focus on projects long procrastinated on. maybe it's that there are other hyper people madly clappety clappetying away with me on this - the fire of collaboration!so here i am,

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1122454725415816072005-07-22T02:55:00.000-04:002007-03-09T11:49:04.844-05:00

staring eye to eye with the full, beaming face of the moon:9 1/2 thousand metres above the continent that bore us,or maybe the rocking cradle, pulled by her bright face,to wash us up against the shore.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1121838881208149332005-07-20T01:47:00.000-04:002005-07-20T01:54:41.246-04:00

that is what i invariably talk about when my social skills are too notably lacking.biznach. business.on which many of my closest relationships are founded. that which has forged some stellar friendships.but why are these connections not the stuff of skinny dipping and a love of the moon and the pleasure of cutting a x-country ski trail through untouched snow and of corporeal joys like food and

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1121665810208081912005-07-18T01:42:00.000-04:002007-03-09T11:49:46.921-05:00

swimming by red moonlightwhite skin blushespaired salmon interrupted

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1121483175205570492005-07-15T22:48:00.000-04:002007-03-09T11:50:27.267-05:00

here in kingston, some people call the water a lake. others think of it as the st. lawrence river. in any case, it is a generous body of welcome refreshment on these dog days of july.carrie, who may be the closest thing in my world to a sister (she'd probably laugh to know i'd written that) is leaving kingston to start a new job in her home and native land. since we've been doing new things

Rednoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1120911979524340872005-07-09T08:24:00.000-04:002007-03-09T11:51:01.815-05:00

isn't it wonderful to cary a waterproof skin?i can walk, dance even, in the rain.i can plunge my entire body into lakes and rivers and bathtubs

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1120852050092225732005-07-08T15:22:00.000-04:002007-03-09T11:52:00.686-05:00

Menstruation is both marvelous, and a bit of a pain. For me, a pad-hating tampon-user since the age of 14ish, the amount of garbage this monthly event was producing bothered me muchly. After all, menstruation is a natural, age-old alternative to manliness - why should it create waste to clog the dwindling waterways and chocked garbage pits of this tiny planet? A friend of mine, many years ago

Rednoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1120769337454106412005-07-07T16:23:00.000-04:002005-07-07T16:52:59.170-04:00

my friend andrea's message was the first in my inbox this morning, before i'd even turned on the radio, or opened my browser to the news of the world.she told us she was safe, in london, and not to worry about her if we'd heard the news of the bombings.not too long ago, a classmate of mine was to have gone to a show in qatar at a venue that was bombed (but she was not there after all).4 years ago

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1120760854870307502005-07-07T14:20:00.000-04:002005-07-07T14:27:34.876-04:00

mothers seem to me to be some other species altogether. and mine is no exception. she just does and does and does for her children. it is lovely to be on the receiving end of such endless support, but it makes me sad as well. i don't think that i should be allowed to become a mother, as i just don't want to ever have to do all that for my kids. i simply cannot imagine giving that much.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1120519510235503652005-07-04T18:57:00.000-04:002007-03-09T11:56:03.816-05:00

i danced and danced in the rain the other day. a visit to k-w, and a storm. the clouds were screaming that i must dance as they would, bathed in our collective sweat, feet bare, hair plastered to my feverish forhead. so i left the dog to her quivering at the ruckus, peeled off most of my layers, and scampered out to the frothing street to be alone in public.i dominated a dinner party that the

Rednoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1120427138456464662005-07-03T17:32:00.000-04:002005-07-18T02:05:37.806-04:00

Now in London, with the ancestry: the octagenarians, as they like to be called. Today I interviewed MamaSue on medicine and art, though we've really only just got to the art part. We journeyed, over beer and shrimp, through France and Belgium in the 20's and 30's, then Rwanda in the 30's and 40's, South Africa through the second world war (her father wept - the first battle in which he'd spent

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1118093235217917892005-06-06T17:19:00.000-04:002007-03-09T11:56:54.468-05:00

apres une longue silence... Guyana (this news is now a little old): I was there, again. It was a whirlwind tour, and lovely to be back. Reminds me that too short is just too short - 10 days was all I had. To work as hard as I could at orienting my team to the way things go there; to reconnect with lovely people; to eat as much of my favourite Guyanese treats as possible... All told it was

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1113761030283930522005-04-17T13:50:00.000-04:002007-03-09T11:57:27.276-05:00

electricity arcing in my brain, light flowing in through dark pools of eyes and exploding when my fingers, quivering, meet damp flesh and the sky.late late nights, talk and skin and words to raise my blood. 8 lbs of muscles bathed in wine and cream, to fuel my steam, to feed my screams. ecstasy: social, solitary, coupled. uncoupled as the days have grown long and somehow, the nights also -

Rednoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1113332306079329402005-04-12T14:45:00.000-04:002005-04-12T14:58:26.080-04:00

I'm deciding to stop trying to be consistent. It's a trap.Because very little matters, it's okay that I'm a vegetarian who doesn't much care about animals, and loves eating things that swim. It's just fine that I eat mangoes shipped miles from who-knows-where while refusing to own a vehicle, insisting on taking my own packaging (even to take-out!), and dutifully collecting compost for the

Rednoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1112716383339649682005-04-05T11:22:00.000-04:002005-04-06T23:59:34.326-04:00

today i pace. make-work learning tasks to tide me over this hump of frenetic energy. i've been in busy la-la land: full of meetings to discuss this summer's research (yay, got all the funding i wanted to go cavorting around talking to people about how they conceptualize health, where they get their info., what they do about it when they make decisions), meetings to pass the torch of

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1112448880794490432005-04-02T08:11:00.000-05:002005-04-02T08:38:25.776-05:00

I was thinking about teachers, and people trying to get to become professional teachers, and, this got me to wondering about authority (I love adult ed, because people are there voluntarily - when I was supply teaching in Toronto public schools, I saw what a struggle it is for me to be an authoritarian figure, though I've been directing projects of all sorts for years. At lunch the other day I

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1112210883551663282005-03-30T14:12:00.000-05:002005-03-30T14:29:34.846-05:00

lunches with andy are always long conversations that diggle with questions of identity, social norms and values, and various human roles and identities. they often also involve cambodian food and are always argumentative.good.a friend has recently retired from blogging. he says (and i repeat it here because it rings true - limits me in the blogosphere too) "I always hate myself as soon as I

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1112125326268300752005-03-29T14:37:00.000-05:002007-03-09T11:58:29.878-05:00

if today is a day of rambling rambling,if sometimes i lapse into silence,then there are many ways to speak of hollows filled.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1112069341048759752005-03-28T23:08:00.000-05:002005-03-28T23:22:35.773-05:00

Tomorrow is Meghann's birthday. Today was her birthday party. It was a special kinda party, 'cause she's special kinda people. It was both a vegan potluck and a dress-up-to-reveal-your-secret-identity kinda do. Vincent was wolf-boy, with facial hair artfully glued all over his lovely face. M. was cute as always in a flowery dress, pretty little sandals and her new blonde hair. I decided the

Rednoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1111968346907958832005-03-27T18:49:00.000-05:002007-03-09T11:59:42.852-05:00

Delighted that Mother and Brother drove all the way here for a visit and many fine decadences. I brought the wine, champagne and whipped up some (use up old) bread pudd, she treated us to spicy meals, and we all shared in the wizardry of producing a lovely picnic for the sunny water-side rocks of Lemoine Point. Getting out there pleased me muchly - especially since my last visit yesterday to

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1111767875030281462005-03-25T11:04:00.000-05:002007-03-09T12:00:21.835-05:00

There is a painting on the stone wall of my favorite Kingston cafe just now. It depicts a young woman astride a young man who looks to be passed out on the floor. She's fumbling under her skirt at his pants. It is entitled, The Rape of Lot. It is both terrible, and marvelous. I can't keep my eyes off of it when I am in there.There I sat last eve, w/ AGE. We were there for a meeting, that led

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1111547043822690292005-03-22T22:04:00.000-05:002007-03-09T12:55:57.198-05:00

1) carve a large, flat circle into the snow with a shovel and lots of effort while beer and snacks are on their way.2) using a saw and long knives, cut large slabs of perfectly packed snow from under the snowmobile tracks and carry them to the prepared site, being careful not to loose your footing in the powder along the way.3) rejoice in the sunshine that lets you prance around in few clothes

Rednoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1111375057545691232005-03-20T22:12:00.000-05:002007-03-09T12:01:34.759-05:00

Bathed in white,There is only lightand SnowThe heart is cold,the heart is coldBathed in snowFire warmshands warmedby handsThere is only night,There are also nights,Cold nights warmed.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1110096323665598642005-03-06T02:44:00.000-05:002007-03-09T12:02:11.734-05:00

Before they all left me to walk home alone, I had a lovely time listening to Leiderhosen Lucil and Carolyn Mark tear it up at the Grad Club. I never did get LL to sign my panties. Damn.And we all had dinner and much wine at Laura's. I made rum-fried bananas and ate many of Carrie's cocoa-lishious brownies.And now the lovely songstresses, and the 'I got left behind' blues have got me, guitar in

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1109989145259147452005-03-04T21:12:00.000-05:002005-03-04T21:19:05.260-05:00

What's a life lived without the buzz of caffeine? I ask you again - why live without caffeine? I'm doing it, for no particular reason other than that it might be reducing the tone of my esophageal sphincter. And since I seem to be wide awake always (these days), why not?Why not indeed. In spite of this new 'rule', last night must have been one of the worst sleeps ever. I can't fathom why.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1109919323950790952005-03-04T01:45:00.000-05:002005-03-04T01:55:23.950-05:00

nearly 2:00. a belly full of ice-cream, brownies, sauces and seconds, and my head scheming even as it laughs the night's laughter a second time around.i should at least go through the motions and pretend that i'll sleep tonight.and dream of red wine, or of crepes and baths, or of the new dolphin vibrating toy that my friend bought herself today, or of the adventures of strangers in dark rooms

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1109726352153231942005-03-01T19:59:00.000-05:002005-03-01T20:21:31.850-05:00

As per usual, there are other things I should really be doing, as I clappety clap away on this keyboard, at my desk, waiting for the police to arrive. Waiting for the police because I filed a complaint against a driver that sorta hit me as I was biking this afternoon. Damn drivers - I'm, of course, totally fine, was just nicked, but this silly fool tried to squeeze in between be and the cars

Rednoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1109546847451286712005-02-27T18:27:00.000-05:002005-02-27T18:27:27.450-05:00

from the other side: Jon's Jail Journal.

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1109545969282287112005-02-27T18:12:00.000-05:002007-03-09T12:03:05.905-05:00

I lapse into silencewhen I don't knowwhere to begin

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1108565021561250372005-02-16T09:41:00.000-05:002007-03-09T12:03:44.048-05:00

snow falls through grey lightgolden fish marks hissky's surface

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1108508280093816442005-02-15T17:58:00.000-05:002007-03-09T12:04:12.629-05:00

and listen to Tune up your Science on tuesdays from 5:30-6:00!

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1108437997408649392005-02-14T22:09:00.000-05:002005-02-14T22:26:37.410-05:00

so my question is, why does it all come down to a tangle of arms and legs, and the rules of engagement. sex sex sex. don't get me wrong, i'm a very very big fan, but i know too well the complications, when heads or hearts get roused more than the flesh.here am i, trying to live a life a little freer, with love and fewer rules. but it seems rules are the rule after all. today i ran into a

Rednoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1108422598926910912005-02-14T17:42:00.000-05:002005-02-14T18:09:58.926-05:00

but delighted, too, at the prospect of a monday evening all my own! yet another amazing mentor filled my head with ideas and my bag with books. and the last grant proposal submitted.i'm weary, as i should well be, after slipping into slumber's arms at well past three, well past four... but also (")motivated(") to actually get shit done! so i'll trundle off through the icy rain to the goat for

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1108305187324852062005-02-13T09:32:00.000-05:002007-03-09T12:05:32.174-05:00

it is lonelyto be lovedby a loverof a lakethat has frozen

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1108261714725166562005-02-12T21:28:00.000-05:002007-03-09T12:06:02.174-05:00

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1108249584770152542005-02-12T17:57:00.000-05:002005-02-12T18:06:24.770-05:00

i'm not sure i can go to any more films. i couldn't figure out why i couldn't sleep last night. a long night of tossing and turning, straining to breathe. Fitful rest that left me wide-eyed but dopey early this morning. silly that it took me this many hours to figure out that the images of bodies hacked up, of children-turned killers, of rooms filled w/ decayed bodies might be able to touch

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1108235278577730082005-02-12T13:33:00.000-05:002005-02-14T17:40:49.603-05:00

even as i feel some joy that there are courageous folk among the many.a human rights film festival may not be the most uplifting way to spend a week-end. just now i watched an NFB film: "Two Worlds Colliding". and here is what i scribbled down, as the discussion, led by a student micmac former OPP, ensued:we canadiansneed to stop being so bloody self-righteous. it makes us blind and limp.we

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1108187753290528892005-02-12T00:12:00.000-05:002005-02-12T00:55:53.293-05:00

and off i went, thoroughly exhausted after impassioned meetings with marvelous mentors, to the human rights film festival's screening of dallaire's "shake hands with the devil"(director, peter raymont, in attendance, along with co-author mjr.. beardsley). excellent. most very.and i'm so glad they chose, during the q&a, to talk about sudan. like me, you may be wondering why we haven't done

Rednoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1108166312581053122005-02-11T18:42:00.000-05:002005-02-11T18:58:32.583-05:00

there are, in this world, people who surround themselves with absolute merriment. the kinds of people who know people who live life completely. the barriers have melted away.it makes me breathless, and i'm only a bit-part by-stander.i love my people, and i love people. but it seems i'd rather be interested than loved, which should leave me freer than i am.but i won't be too hard on my

Rednoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7996926.post-1108022211098547002005-02-10T02:44:00.003-05:002008-02-19T02:37:35.265-05:00

when what aches can't be bound.

Rednoreply@blogger.com4