i have been plunged into madness -- 6 weeks of psychiatric institutions, psychoses, depression, confusion and mania. but (this time, at least?) not my own -- work brought me to the constellation of crazy, and i came and went between the two sparkling pools of madness in this town.
fine strong minds scrambling for a way to keep afloat. this world is hard, this much i know. beautiful, and hard, and there are many, many ways of being in it. for some, their way of being doesn't suit, and some such folk stopped a while under my watch, and ate my pills, and shared some thoughts. there was a little healing, there was worstening, there was a great deal of hanging on. it was work i could sink my teeth into, fangs and all. challenging, in nearly too many ways. i loved it, absolutely.
and strangely, for all the fear and sadness around me, i drew a great deal of energy into my own quivering mind - emerging with a staff in my hand and the sensation of steady for the time being.
i felt - i feel well and rested and with only a slight longing for my own days of ecstatic energy. and now i'm off again. to serbia, then northern b.c. before i again refuel here in my home, and in the splashing waves of this fine lake. fingers are crossed that the water remains warm enough for more dancing in the wind (i've taken-up windsurfing, and i'm hooked!).
