dragonslippers

a friend lent me this really incredible book, Dragonslippers. it's a graphic memoir, written by a bright young woman who survived a 10-year long abusive relationship. the drawings were from her time during those years - very honest. it's a very incredible document, and really worthwhile, i think, regardless of one's experience with spousal abuse. i'm sure i will find occasion to share it with someone who needs it in the future. find it, read it. that's what i suggest.

so much hot air

admiring the joy of falling through air, but feeling so far from all that freedom myself today. instead, too much hot air and knots.

it can be said that happiness = 1/|expectations-reality|.

but trying too hard to remodel expectations in anticipation of an unsatisfactory reality is another kind of lie. it probably won't allow disappointment to be avoided, just postponed. better to adjust reality or feel more comfortable with disappointment.

already summer's heat

last i wrote it was avril. month of fickle sky-sourced tears and wicked winds taunting with warm undertones and the promise of floral blooms.

and now, already it is june. i missed a lot in between. as ever, a lot of expressive silence is the theme when i'm around that mildly intoxicating creature. now i'm back home (oh! frabjous day, calloo, callay!!), and though working too hard, so thrilled to be here for this season. bike rides and long strolls in my favorite woods to help me hang onto shreds of sanity after 29 hour slumberless shifts in the bottled-air halls of the hospital.

so glorious to feel at home -- a feeling fairly foreign to me and mine until i settled into this town years ago now. home. a place to come back to after wild wanderings and mad adventures. (bliss and sigh)

and from here a better place to reflect on the transformation. chrysalis. so hard to resist the shiny new lenses i'm expected to wear, as i learn this professional role. but this for later.

now, to revel in the tingling buzz of blood pumping every which way after a glorious evening bike ride -- strip, a quick dance around my apartement, and some supper, before no-doubt collapsing for some welcome sleep.