back in sleepy grahamstown

spent some time, after jo'burg, after the karoo, after a few days chez papa, with a high-energy crew in tiny little middle-of-nowhere hamburg. a little rural community in old ciskei of the apartheit era - one of many eastern cape communities struggling with extreme poverty, services in shambles, and ill health all around.

there i always meet people that force me to think. and my eyes and ears are forced open. and there are many interesting things underfoot - an arts project, a new HIV/AIDS hospice tucked into an old house, struggles to attract a few tourists to this stunning coastal estuary. and there is also lots to make me uncomfortable. lots to question, and the question of which roles to play. this is not really a place for outsiders. but it's not much of a place for insiders, either. and sometimes i marvel at south africa for that. it's often said of india that it is the land of contradictions, but it as true here as anywhere. and somehow there's also less comfort in the contradictions here - less resignation to that fact. a sense that things must change. and in spite of old patterns deeply entrenched ("it's like apartheit all over again"), and a lot of learning from scratch (pressure-groups and municipal demonstrations and undoing dependency in fits and spurts), there is also the whirlagig spinning of happening.

of course i can leave, and most never will, but still, it is hard for me to imagine reconciling to life here (though s.a. draws many refugees - mostly economic: it is also a land of opportunity; it is the place my father has returned to; it is where my people come from, and still are). new perspectives on home, and the power of stories.

and now i'm back in sleepy grahamstown, pretending to work, but mostly visiting with my father. saving up time with him to buffer what looks to be a four-year absence looming on our horizon. sometimes i need to move, but sitting still is good for me as well.