do i even have a thing to say?

not really. let's see...

well, today i was told i couldn't take a banana where i wanted to take it (against the rules, I was told), so I tried to leave it somewhere safe. "Won't be there when you get back," barked the official, "Just throw it away!" I thought this would be a shameful waste, and told him so (invoking, I'll admit, the sappy dream of holiday seasonality). I left it behind anyway, perched upon a little mount in the wall. And when I got back (another flustered official in the interim having shouted both "hurry ladies" and "hats OFF!"), sure enough, the banana was gone. I was angry. Had he really just thrown it away? Indignant, and determined to make a scene, I marched over to the garbage. My intention? To remove it, messily if needed, should I see it there. And what did I find? Merrily, all I could see was the blessed banana's peel, and all was well once again in the world.

(isn't it nice when you get to write yourself as the hero?)