birch boughs bend
more easily than
maple
26.12.04
23.12.04
this town
This town is starting.
To wear me down.
Granted, I did wear the contact lenses for too many hours. And left my skin scandalously de-hydrated. And endured driving in the exceptional slush. But I think it's also this dang town. Oh, and feeling rang-y about my far-off friend. Ah, communication - the five syllable word that means, don't be too tired, too worn-out, too rang-y to attempt it. Co (it takes two) commune (in one space) 'nication (rhymes with...).
But I got to run in the sleet and 1/2-foot of snow this morning, which was and adventure and a pleasure indeed. With all the drivers not driving, and the roads slippy-white. And more cookies were baked, and a swell choco delight.
Now, though, it is time.
For wine.
To wear me down.
Granted, I did wear the contact lenses for too many hours. And left my skin scandalously de-hydrated. And endured driving in the exceptional slush. But I think it's also this dang town. Oh, and feeling rang-y about my far-off friend. Ah, communication - the five syllable word that means, don't be too tired, too worn-out, too rang-y to attempt it. Co (it takes two) commune (in one space) 'nication (rhymes with...).
But I got to run in the sleet and 1/2-foot of snow this morning, which was and adventure and a pleasure indeed. With all the drivers not driving, and the roads slippy-white. And more cookies were baked, and a swell choco delight.
Now, though, it is time.
For wine.
22.12.04
on deal appeal
Fact: this family gets off on deals. No one more so than mama-bird, and no one less so than the-brother-who-wants-it-all. Deals. "Deal: A sale favorable especially to the buyer; a bargain." Just how favourable is it if you never would have needed (or, more realistically, wanted) the item in the first place, at any cost? And why trade in what's good for what's on sale?
On reunions: last night a gathering of old (now rather distant) classmates. But the history endures in some respects, and here and there some history-to-be, too. R., still angry, but so nice to reminisce with her as well, remembering the family stories we lived through together. Tonight, with bridesmaids-to-be, women who were not so long ago girls. Who's parents corralled us when the teachers were on strike. Now mothers, professionals, partners, students. A long time in the making. Still good with wine and cheese! L. (mother of nearly 2), A., A. on the phone, and beautiful C. Our own dress-designer (in case we thought these details trifles), M., to make the fairy-tale quite real. Need I be surprised? Look where I grew up...
Brother and I went grocery shopping, and, of all things, baked cookies all afternoon. No less than four varieties!! Crazy. Some spirit! And tomorrow all hell breaks loose as the storm, and aunt and grandparents arrive. Then let the incredible fiesta of food and drink and more food and drink begin! Is it possible that we will eat $60 worth of cheese, hundreds in wine and champagne and liquor, that there will be turkey and ham, smoked salmon, soups, roasted vegetables, salads, chocolate and chocolate, pancakes, omelets, and more... This is our reality. Gives pause.
On reunions: last night a gathering of old (now rather distant) classmates. But the history endures in some respects, and here and there some history-to-be, too. R., still angry, but so nice to reminisce with her as well, remembering the family stories we lived through together. Tonight, with bridesmaids-to-be, women who were not so long ago girls. Who's parents corralled us when the teachers were on strike. Now mothers, professionals, partners, students. A long time in the making. Still good with wine and cheese! L. (mother of nearly 2), A., A. on the phone, and beautiful C. Our own dress-designer (in case we thought these details trifles), M., to make the fairy-tale quite real. Need I be surprised? Look where I grew up...
Brother and I went grocery shopping, and, of all things, baked cookies all afternoon. No less than four varieties!! Crazy. Some spirit! And tomorrow all hell breaks loose as the storm, and aunt and grandparents arrive. Then let the incredible fiesta of food and drink and more food and drink begin! Is it possible that we will eat $60 worth of cheese, hundreds in wine and champagne and liquor, that there will be turkey and ham, smoked salmon, soups, roasted vegetables, salads, chocolate and chocolate, pancakes, omelets, and more... This is our reality. Gives pause.
21.12.04
back in the big smoke
chez maman. day 2. slept a wonderful sleep, full of wine and brother's chilean milky home-brew, having whatched a movie and trimmed the tree en famille.
ventured down-town to kensignton, to taste cheese and to buy fish and such. and for once the neon signage and all those cars didn't quite bring me down. new doo, too: all short 'n cute, full of 'product'. ah, la belle vie en ville!
tonight a little reunion with the nerdy kids of yore. should be, well, fun i suppose. and all the while i can't wait to get home to my cozy bed and tasty book.
ventured down-town to kensignton, to taste cheese and to buy fish and such. and for once the neon signage and all those cars didn't quite bring me down. new doo, too: all short 'n cute, full of 'product'. ah, la belle vie en ville!
tonight a little reunion with the nerdy kids of yore. should be, well, fun i suppose. and all the while i can't wait to get home to my cozy bed and tasty book.
19.12.04
it could just be the wine
it's a cold day outside, about -15 or so, and this morning's shower is still lingering on my living-room windows.
wilco is playing and here i sit with a bowl of beta-carotene soup, and the rest of last night's last glass of wine.
in a flurry of...something, i whipped up a batch of rum balls and the soup and tidied up and did a tonne of dishes. and now i look forward to slowly working my way through the glühwein-soaked orange slices from yestereve's festivities. and maybe a little walk to take my compost down to the community garden, or a stroll along the lakeshore. maybe i should go look for used cd's to give to the brother who wants it all.
it could just be the wine, but i'm feeling all warm from the glow of my friendlings hier. we sat around talking, and sipping, listening to music, and played a little charades, a little alphabet gameage, reminisced and debated and had a nice time all 'round.
not much daylight left - best get outside. wish there was snow enough for propulsion via cross-country skis.
wilco is playing and here i sit with a bowl of beta-carotene soup, and the rest of last night's last glass of wine.
in a flurry of...something, i whipped up a batch of rum balls and the soup and tidied up and did a tonne of dishes. and now i look forward to slowly working my way through the glühwein-soaked orange slices from yestereve's festivities. and maybe a little walk to take my compost down to the community garden, or a stroll along the lakeshore. maybe i should go look for used cd's to give to the brother who wants it all.
it could just be the wine, but i'm feeling all warm from the glow of my friendlings hier. we sat around talking, and sipping, listening to music, and played a little charades, a little alphabet gameage, reminisced and debated and had a nice time all 'round.
not much daylight left - best get outside. wish there was snow enough for propulsion via cross-country skis.
18.12.04
today i lounge
it is morning. the morning after, actually. the morning after my hammock delivered me to the earth, and the morning after the end of one world and the beginning of another. memorable transitions, that's a life remembered.
today i lounge. absolutely no leaving of the house before noon. no strenuous use of the most metabolically active organ. only forward thinking, play, and fun.
tonight i play, with dear friends comme à une réunion. there'll be a few missing, but such is transience.
Glühwein - now how on earth do i make that?
today i lounge. absolutely no leaving of the house before noon. no strenuous use of the most metabolically active organ. only forward thinking, play, and fun.
tonight i play, with dear friends comme à une réunion. there'll be a few missing, but such is transience.
Glühwein - now how on earth do i make that?
17.12.04
baaa
i am lamb
lamb i am
lamb is led
led by head
by head, i am
and led, am lamb
like lamb, am led
with laughter
like lamb, am led
to slaughter
lamb i am
lamb is led
led by head
by head, i am
and led, am lamb
like lamb, am led
with laughter
like lamb, am led
to slaughter
16.12.04
do you know
in your eyes there are poems,
in my heart a song
in your hands there are sorrows,
in mine a so-long
in your head there are hand-stands
in my arms a child
and i'll sing-song so long as your
hands stand forlorn
and i'll long for your song
till from life i am borne
in my heart a song
in your hands there are sorrows,
in mine a so-long
in your head there are hand-stands
in my arms a child
and i'll sing-song so long as your
hands stand forlorn
and i'll long for your song
till from life i am borne
do i even have a thing to say?
not really. let's see...
well, today i was told i couldn't take a banana where i wanted to take it (against the rules, I was told), so I tried to leave it somewhere safe. "Won't be there when you get back," barked the official, "Just throw it away!" I thought this would be a shameful waste, and told him so (invoking, I'll admit, the sappy dream of holiday seasonality). I left it behind anyway, perched upon a little mount in the wall. And when I got back (another flustered official in the interim having shouted both "hurry ladies" and "hats OFF!"), sure enough, the banana was gone. I was angry. Had he really just thrown it away? Indignant, and determined to make a scene, I marched over to the garbage. My intention? To remove it, messily if needed, should I see it there. And what did I find? Merrily, all I could see was the blessed banana's peel, and all was well once again in the world.
(isn't it nice when you get to write yourself as the hero?)
well, today i was told i couldn't take a banana where i wanted to take it (against the rules, I was told), so I tried to leave it somewhere safe. "Won't be there when you get back," barked the official, "Just throw it away!" I thought this would be a shameful waste, and told him so (invoking, I'll admit, the sappy dream of holiday seasonality). I left it behind anyway, perched upon a little mount in the wall. And when I got back (another flustered official in the interim having shouted both "hurry ladies" and "hats OFF!"), sure enough, the banana was gone. I was angry. Had he really just thrown it away? Indignant, and determined to make a scene, I marched over to the garbage. My intention? To remove it, messily if needed, should I see it there. And what did I find? Merrily, all I could see was the blessed banana's peel, and all was well once again in the world.
(isn't it nice when you get to write yourself as the hero?)
15.12.04
14.12.04
13.12.04
they were talking about fruitcake on the radio, so I wrote to them:
Again and again, I keep finding that I am my father's daughter, and no more so that in the way my tongue is ageing.
Growing up, fruitcake was one of the many treats that my skinny-as-a-rake father used to keep in his pantry in large quantities. He'd go striding into the kitchen, and put the kettle on for another of his perpetual cups of tea. Before the water had boiled, he'd have munched his merry way through at least half of a small loaf. This ritual was repeated at least half a dozen times a day, with fruitcake or bagels smeared in butter, or some other carb.-rich delish!
I always thought his almost maniacal treat-seeking was weird, or at least gross, and used to tease him about it often. Just yesterday, however, I bought, on impulse, my very first fruitcake. I'm not quite sure when I started enjoying fruitcake. Not more than a few years ago, it seems. About the same time that I started thinking that x-mas pudding and mince meat tarts were tasty. Now I own one of my own, purchased for my pleasure alone.
As I left my desk yesterday evening, and strode into my kitchen to refresh my mug of tea, I nearly laughed out loud at how much I, bent over my moist little cake as the kettle boiled, have come to resemble my father.
And now I think I'll send him one - it has a long way to go (he lives in South Africa now), but however long it takes to get there, I know it won't last long once it's arrived!
(signed: me, reluctant lover of fruit cake)
Growing up, fruitcake was one of the many treats that my skinny-as-a-rake father used to keep in his pantry in large quantities. He'd go striding into the kitchen, and put the kettle on for another of his perpetual cups of tea. Before the water had boiled, he'd have munched his merry way through at least half of a small loaf. This ritual was repeated at least half a dozen times a day, with fruitcake or bagels smeared in butter, or some other carb.-rich delish!
I always thought his almost maniacal treat-seeking was weird, or at least gross, and used to tease him about it often. Just yesterday, however, I bought, on impulse, my very first fruitcake. I'm not quite sure when I started enjoying fruitcake. Not more than a few years ago, it seems. About the same time that I started thinking that x-mas pudding and mince meat tarts were tasty. Now I own one of my own, purchased for my pleasure alone.
As I left my desk yesterday evening, and strode into my kitchen to refresh my mug of tea, I nearly laughed out loud at how much I, bent over my moist little cake as the kettle boiled, have come to resemble my father.
And now I think I'll send him one - it has a long way to go (he lives in South Africa now), but however long it takes to get there, I know it won't last long once it's arrived!
(signed: me, reluctant lover of fruit cake)
do her? i hardly even know her!
mine is the only basket
that carries
all the fishes
in my head alone
floats
the universe intact
that carries
all the fishes
in my head alone
floats
the universe intact
12.12.04
i need a bell
to ring whenever i get a little pedantickle. a little corner store counter-type bell to go "ding", and i'll look up, and smile, and the question has already been asked, but at least there was something for everyone else to listen to. come to think of it, maybe a spritely little theme-song would be more enjoyable. maybe "school's out for summer", or "teacher's pet", or something about being a super-star. hee hee.
11.12.04
consumerism: it ain't so bad
some time ago, in a place not far from here, a good number of my clothes went missing as i was washing at the laundromat.
and so today, i had a most wonderful time...shopping! (okay, so i may be an anti-consumerist and all that jazz, but a girl gotta have some warm pants, and shirts, and scarves if she's gonna live in these northern climes)
shopped till i dropped with my willing companion, roger. une excursion a Value Village (haven for acquisitive anti-consumerists, and cash-strapped cavorters). and when we lined up, purchases clutched in our guilty hands, our gluttony was rewarded with 50% off. hooray!! i felt the thrill of the sale-hunter a hundred times over.
ah, sweet sweet shopping satisfaction.
--------------
(alright, i confess, the scarves were decorative; i figure i'll use them in wrapping gifts this x-mas, or something)
and so today, i had a most wonderful time...shopping! (okay, so i may be an anti-consumerist and all that jazz, but a girl gotta have some warm pants, and shirts, and scarves if she's gonna live in these northern climes)
shopped till i dropped with my willing companion, roger. une excursion a Value Village (haven for acquisitive anti-consumerists, and cash-strapped cavorters). and when we lined up, purchases clutched in our guilty hands, our gluttony was rewarded with 50% off. hooray!! i felt the thrill of the sale-hunter a hundred times over.
ah, sweet sweet shopping satisfaction.
--------------
(alright, i confess, the scarves were decorative; i figure i'll use them in wrapping gifts this x-mas, or something)
9.12.04
numb
this brain of mine no longer wishes to cooperate. in spite of regular chocolate dosing, a fine run around the soccer field, and many interludes of fun mit friends. but only a few more days till it can go back on vacation. it shouldn't complain - i ask so very little of it!
instead of sleep, it mused about naughty things long into the night. instead of imbibing the wisdom of the neuroanatomical ages, it fondly recollected a rainy midnight late-october pic-nic.
but it did help me to dig through old things to find lovely presents to share - one for meghann's super-secret-santa today, and others. and it found me the address of my host family in japan, which i thought maybe lost forever.
if, after all, it really won't help me to learn, then at least i should ask it to sing me a song. now let's see, how might that go:
the brain bone's connected to the spine bone,
the spine bone's connected to the crotch bone,
the croch bone, er, 's connected to the brain bone,
and i'll go on my merry merry way.
silly brain. that's a terrible song. i need to get out of this house. hmm, but at least it smells of sandalwood in here.
instead of sleep, it mused about naughty things long into the night. instead of imbibing the wisdom of the neuroanatomical ages, it fondly recollected a rainy midnight late-october pic-nic.
but it did help me to dig through old things to find lovely presents to share - one for meghann's super-secret-santa today, and others. and it found me the address of my host family in japan, which i thought maybe lost forever.
if, after all, it really won't help me to learn, then at least i should ask it to sing me a song. now let's see, how might that go:
the brain bone's connected to the spine bone,
the spine bone's connected to the crotch bone,
the croch bone, er, 's connected to the brain bone,
and i'll go on my merry merry way.
silly brain. that's a terrible song. i need to get out of this house. hmm, but at least it smells of sandalwood in here.
6.12.04
chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaud
So, my apartment is so hot that:
-my chocolate is melting
-i wake up parched
-my skin is drier than desert
-and i've had to (gasp) open a window - this doesn't sit well with my enviro-mental-ity
Outside it snows: big fat floating flakes. This should be good - maybe a midnight ski in the park for me??
And herein is our curly-hair-ed friend's account of a recent visit to T-bay...
Back to the brain.
(brain-drain!)
-my chocolate is melting
-i wake up parched
-my skin is drier than desert
-and i've had to (gasp) open a window - this doesn't sit well with my enviro-mental-ity
Outside it snows: big fat floating flakes. This should be good - maybe a midnight ski in the park for me??
And herein is our curly-hair-ed friend's account of a recent visit to T-bay...
Back to the brain.
(brain-drain!)
5.12.04
ensoleillée
i awake to the pulse
of blood
more alive for the trickle that leaves me
breathless
together, i lie throbbing and embrace
the day
of blood
more alive for the trickle that leaves me
breathless
together, i lie throbbing and embrace
the day
4.12.04
daisy, daisy, give me your answer do
my love my love
is in love
with her
greater, bluer body
while my head, my head
is in bed
with his
red-y, reedy body
is in love
with her
greater, bluer body
while my head, my head
is in bed
with his
red-y, reedy body
2.12.04
topsy turvey
why is my bottom feeder upside down,
bottoms up?
feeding at the surface?
he seems fine, but for this odd behaviour.
reflecting, reflecting
bottoms up?
feeding at the surface?
he seems fine, but for this odd behaviour.
reflecting, reflecting
death by vacuume
hahaha fly my pretties, fly
think you'd like to land on my bana, na-na-na?
instead i suck you into the vortex
amid the whirling swirling noise
not a quiet end, but then
your constant humming
constant whirring
flittering flight
never endeared you
what i can't understand
is
why
you never leave me completely
think you'd like to land on my bana, na-na-na?
instead i suck you into the vortex
amid the whirling swirling noise
not a quiet end, but then
your constant humming
constant whirring
flittering flight
never endeared you
what i can't understand
is
why
you never leave me completely
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